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The greatest commercial properties in fiction: Red Dwarf

noImage Glen Pickard

Red Dwarf

In this edition of our (sporadic) series in which we look at the greatest commercial properties in fiction, Glen Pickard profiles the titular vessel from long running British sci-fi television series  Red Dwarf.

First appearing in 1988 on BBC2 (and set to start filming it's eleventh series later this year) Red Dwarf is a shining example of televisual excellence: smart, poignant, dramatic, thought provoking and above all: hilarious. A uniquely British slab of sci-fi comedy drama, the show continually redefines both itself (sitcom, sci-fi parody, comedy drama) and it's place in popular culture (cult novelty, mainstream smash, forgotten classic, hit comeback), it has a significant - and deserved - following.

Set in the distant future, Red Dwarf follows the exploits of the last surviving human Dave Lister, a crewmen on the mining ship Red Dwarf who is frozen in cryosleep and thus protected when a radiation leak kills all on board.

Revived three million years later, the series follows his exploits bumming around the galaxy with an android, the holographic simulation of his former bunkmate, and a creature evolved from his cat.

How does the property work?

An enormous spaceship produced and maintained by the Jupiter Mining Corporation (JMC), Red Dwarf is roughly six miles long and generates income by scooping up huge asteroids and mining them for valuable minerals.  

The program continually rewrites its own continuity, so the exact specs and history alter depending on which episode you're watching but, generally, the mission is to get the characters back to earth to discover what remains of the human race, and presumably deposit their mined payload.

Why buy?

  • With a sustainable fuel system, the ship is self sufficient and virtually indestructible, even able to survive radiation leaks, nanobot takeover, and alien attacks.  Business will remain uninterrupted even if time starts running backwards or the crew gets lost in a parallel dimension. 
     
  • Comes complete with its own automated caretaker, a highly intelligent computer named Holly. Often dangerous, certainly insane, interfering and counter productive, Holly is of little use to anyone, and thus perfect for the role of middle management.
     
  • Still operational after three million years, Red Dwarf brings new meaning to the idea of a long term investment. Forget looking ahead to pay for your child's education, investing here will actually help future-proof the entire human race.
     
  • Self discovery. Experiments on board frequency result in creating doubles or opening doors to alternate dimensions.  One such incident saw the introduction of Ace Rimmer, a charismatic, attractive and successful double of Red Dwarf's resident exam failing, obnoxious hologram. Learn lessons from the best possible version of yourself.

The 'real' Red Dwarf

Back here on earth, the industrial sector offers plenty of chances to invest in similar properties. Much like Red Dwarf, the modern mine or quarry is a substantial operation incorporating a large crew overseeing various technologies, in an environmentally friendly manner.

You don't need aliens to tell you that the UK mining industry is looking like a solid investment opportunity, so you won't have to wait three million years for this industry to bring a smile to your face!


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About The Author

Glen Pickard is a freelance writer based in Bristol. Since graduating from Buckinghamshire New University with a degree in Film and Media, Glen has worked with major building solutions companies in a variety of roles. Glen's work also includes film reviews, script consultancy and podcasting.

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